Meri Diary

Some cool Jokes!

2007-03-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

Take them as a joke, be sportive!

A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to test her sons-in-law. She invites the first one for a stroll by the lake shore, purposely falls in and pretends to be drowning. Without any hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in and saves her.

The next morning, he finds a brand new Toyota car in his driveway
with this message on the windshield…"Thank you!" Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law. He jumps in the water and saves her also. She offers him a new Honda car with the same message on the windshield…

Thank you!
Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, she does the same thing again with the third son-in-law. While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks: "Finaly! It's about time that this old witch dies!

The next morning, he receives a brand new Ferrari car with this message…

THANK YOU!
Your father-in-law.

My Village and My Home in WikiMapia.org

2007-02-07T08:21:00.000-08:00

Today I found my village and my home in Wikimapia. This is the link.

मैं ये सोचकर उसके दर से उठा था

2006-08-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

Today I was listening one of the song from film Haqeekat. This is one of the briliant song by Rafi, and alos my all time favourite.

मैं ये सोचकर उसके दर से उठा था,
के वो रोक लेगी मना लेगी मुझको ।

हवाओं में लहराता आता था दामन,
के दामन पकड़कर बिठा लेगी मुझको ।

कदम ऐसे अंदाज़ से उठ रहे थे,
की आवाज़ देकर बुला लेगी मुझको ।

मगर उसने रोका
न उसने मनाया,
न दामन ही पकड़ा
न मुझको बिठाया,
न आवाज़ ही दी,
न वापस बुलाया

मैं आहिस्ता आहिस्ता बढ़ता ही आया
यहाँ तक के उससे जुदा हो गया मैं ...
जुदा हो गया मैं ...
जुदा हो गया मैं ...

Something Funny

2006-08-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

Q:- If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
A:- The days after marriage.
---------------------------
Q:- During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse?
A:- He is given his last chance to run away.
---------------------------
A guy to his GF :
I wrote your name on the sands.............it got washed away,
I wrote your name in air..........................it got blown away,
So i wrote your name in my heart.............i got a HEART ATTACK
---------------------------
LOVE is like a CIGAR,
It starts with a fire.....
continues with smoke.....
and ends in ashes.....
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
---------------------------
True love is like a pillow
You can hug when you are in trouble
You can cry on when you are in pain
You can embrace when you are happy
So when u need true love spend Rs.50/- Buy a pillow
---------------------------
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
It functions 24hrs 365 days.....
It functions right from the time you are born....
until you fall in love
---------------------------
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
Now you do the math!
---------------------------
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : Sir, I am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.
Teacher : You failure ! At ur age Bill Gates stood first in the class.
Student : Mind you, Sir, but @ your age Hitler commited suicide.
---------------------------

Should India take the same step as Israel?

2006-07-18T12:47:00.000-07:00

The question is not "Should" Indian follow the path of Israel but the question "Can" India take the path of Israel. In my view India cannot take the steps which Israel is taking and the reason is well known to us. None of the Israels enemey (Syria, Lebnon - Hezboolah, Iran etc) are as tactively powerful as Israel. Israel can crush all its nebhour in any given day, because they have blanket support from USA. On the other hand we have a nuclear powered neighbor who supports the terrorism.

And if India takes the force as action it will be disastrous in long run. Because we cannot just attack on them and get away with that. There will be retaliation from Pakistan in the form of force and that will become a national agenda in Pakistan.

We need inteligence power and thats the last option for country like India. We have seen the success of RAW in the past years, creation of Bangladesh, Operation Bluestar are some of them . But there were huge budget cuts for RAW in recent years.

We need to contain the terrorism and we need to isolate them. And the best thing is we should help Pakistani govenment to control the religious extremist in their own country.

Diplomacy and Covert Action (here we can use the force) are the two best solution avaialble. If you think we havenot got anything from that then I tell you if we have opted for the force we would have been in the for worst condition we are today.

Mumbai Blast: My Experience

2006-07-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Today when I just switched on my radio in car, the breaking news was Blast in Mumbai. Normally any blast in India does not makes it through "Breaking News" in US media, until unless its huge. So I knew its going to be worst. As I have many of my relative (close to 15 relatives) some of them being very close. I was so scared when I read the detailed news on various website that there are close to 7 or 8 blast during the peak hour, on western lines. Now this is the line where 4-5 of my relative travel regularly. They commute to office and back to home.

As the telephone and cell phone lines were jammed i tried calling for a long-time but no luck. The fear inside me was growing. After a long time I was able to get one of my relative's cell phone, it was ringing, but no response , a horrible scene just struck in my mind. The scene and my imagination got worsen every time I called and dint received response from him. A scene where limbs and scattered all over the place. The cell phone is ringing somewhere bellow the debris on the track. Did that happened? A chill in my spine went through. My god ! What should I do.

I tried all my relatives in Mumbai, finally I got one of them and talk to them and they told that most of the people they know are fine nothing to worry they are safe at home. I took a sigh of relief. But I know there are some people calling there loved one and there cell phone is stuck below the debris and the area is piled up with parts from their body. Those hands are never going to receive any call that ear is never going to hear anything. They are gone, and they are never going to return home.

May God give power and courage to them, who have suffered the loss.

Universal Rules for Men

2006-06-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at rugby, and your biltong is getting wet, then, for the eating period only, it is permissible.

2. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". e. When she is using her teeth.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However you can Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just greedy.

18. If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

20. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

22. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, orange or sky blue.

23. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Play station II. End of story.

24. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

2006-05-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce : Future tense of marriage

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

How to Kill a Lion

2006-05-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Here are few tips on "How to Kill a Lion"

TCS method:
Hire a lion
Give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
Lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method :
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

Infosys method:
Hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
He will die eventually of frustration...

i-Flex method:
Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
Holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
Hire a lion ..
Tell him to merge with Goats (polaris software) and reduce his allowance...
Lion dies from fear that tomorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :
Hire ..Sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...
Change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
Cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
Lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....

Silverline Method:
Hire a lion, declare a scandal and don't pay him...
He dies of hunger...

Quinnox method:
Hire the lion. either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery.
Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity...

Patni method:
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
The lion dies before joining....

Nucsoft method:
Hire a lion,give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)..
The lion dies from lack of eating meat...

Satyam method:
Hire a lion, give him net access..
No work..
And deport him to Chennai centre...
No water..
No electricity..
No hindi speaking ppl...
Lion dies in oblivion......

Wipro method:
Hire a lion...
Give him lots of work...
Transfer him to Wipro Lights division..
Lion dies due to Lightness...

Mastek method:
Hire a lion...
Ask him to align himself with anything and everything...
Ask him to fill complicated competency forms...
Differ increments and pay him salary of a cat...
Lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation...

Caritor Method:
Hire a lion...
Ask him to stay at work..
Give him vegetables to eat...
Hire 10 more lions
Give them vegetables to eat
Hire 20 more

Infotech Method:
Hire a lion at CAT salary
Tie with a Belt
Request lion to wait until belt breaks
Send Lion to US/UK
Put One more Belt
Lion Runs away(Abscond) in fear of death.

Some more ways to kill a lion:

Newton's method (Third law):
First let the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies the lion will also die

Rajnikanth method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear

Kamalahasan method :
Go near the lion
Cry like anything....
Lion will die of sorrow !

Manirathnam method :
Make sure the lion does not get sun light
Keep murmuring something in its ears
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide

George Bush Junior's method :
Tell CIA to link the lion to Al Qaida
Sent Lion to Jail
Torture the Lion
Shoot the Lion!!

Santa Singh Method:
Drink poison
Let Lion eat you
Lion is also killed!!!!!

Govinda method :
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days
Lion dies of boredom

Tips for traveling in Mumbai Local Trains

2006-04-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

It came to me as an forwarded email. I found it really funny. Hope you like it.

Never iron your shirt if you intend to travel
during peak hours. The packed train shall do the needful.

Thou shall buy a first class pass only if your company is paying for it.
Else thou should be really rich with an annual income of atleast Rs.10 lakhs
travelling by first class. Otherwise is a public crime.
Before getting off at a station always make sure to ask the person ahead of
you, "Uterega Kya?" This way you shall not feel left out.
If you happen to be one of those few gazillion, who travel by train during
peak hours, on a regular basis, do not spend money on gymnasiums or health
instructors. You will realize how effortlessly and in an innovative manner, one can practice yoga while travelling.
If you have already started practising this innovative yoga, see to it that
it remains within the confinements of the train compartment. Try these steps anywhere else and you'll soon get yourself locked up in a mental asylum.
Always push the person standing ahead of you. It is amusing when the person
ahead of you does not use a single word against you.
In case you happen to sweat or if your nose starts twitching, rub the desired
body part on the clothes of the person standing closest to you. Your hands are gonna be of no use to you at that time.
Make sure you are the tallest among those standing around you. It affects you
less when others have to bear the smell of your armpits.
Avoid travelling in slippers or sandals. It is an accepted fact that someone
always climbs on to your foot.

This happens only in India!

2006-04-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some very funny Images. Totally dipdicts our desi mentalty. No matter where we are, we are alwasy "Desi". Jor se kaho hum desi hai. जोर से कहो हम देशी हैं !

Office Pictures

2006-04-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

While browsing on internet i found some funny images which deals with office. Some of them are really funny. See for yourself.

Hope you liked :D

The best one liner you ever heard

2006-04-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Here are a few one liners. Some of them so hillarious that you will die laughing. Please enter at your own risk.

- A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

- A classified ad which read "Wife Wanted" received hundreds of responses, all from men saying "You can have mine."

- A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

- A husband expects his wife to be perfect... and to understand why he's not.

- A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

- A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

- A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

- A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

- A son asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son. I'm still paying for it."

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

- A toast to the newlyweds: May your only ups and downs be between the sheets.

- A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.

- A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." The friend asked, "And what was he before you married him?" The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."

- After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

- Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

- As she hears the wedding march, three things are foremost in a bride's mind: aisle, altar, hymn. [I'll alter him!]

- Bachelor: A guy who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

- Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

- Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

- Confucius say man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.

- Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

- Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

- I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

- I never knew what real happiness was until I got married... and then it was too late.

- I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

- I was engaged myself once, to a contortionist. But she broke it off.

- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

- If you want your spouse to listen and pay full attention to what you have to say, talk in your sleep.

- If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

- In marriage, the bride gets a shower; but for the groom, it's curtains!

- It doesn't matter how often a husband changes his job; he still ends up with the same boss.

- It's a give-and-take marriage. He gives and she takes.

- Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

- Man is incomplete until he is married. After that he is finished.

- Man: Rules the roost. Woman: Rules the rooster.

- Marriage is a great institution; but who wants to live in an institution?

- Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

- Marriage is an institution in which the man loses his Bachelor's degree and the woman gets her Master's.

- Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo....

- Marriage is grand... and divorce is about 10 grand.

- Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).

- Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

- Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

- Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

- Marry not a tennis player, for love means nothing to them.

- Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

- My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day.

- My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gosh, I miss him!

- My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.

- My wife's cooking is so bad that we pray after we eat.

- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

- Some mornings I wake up grouchy... and some mornings I just let her sleep.

- Thanks preacher for allowing me to have 16 wives: 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better, 4 worse!

- The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

- The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.

- The three stages of sex in marriage: tri-weekly; try-weekly; try-weakly.

- They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

She Devil: A Revenge

2006-04-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited afew half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to setoff gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls, finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that shemissed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company packs everything to take to their new home........... including the curtain rods!!!

A Bus Driver and an IT Guy

2006-04-15T01:38:00.000-07:00

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet two, built like a brick shit-house, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, 'Big John doesn't pay!' and sat down at the back.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, 'Big John doesn't pay!,' the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, 'And why not?'

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, 'Big John has a bus pass.'"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two IT guys were chatting in a pub after work. "Guesswhat, mate," says the first IT guy,
"Yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde girl in a bar."
"What did you do?" says the other IT guy.
"Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a coupleof drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to make her feel special"
"You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy.
"I then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to mynew laptop."
"Really? You got a new laptop? What configuration?"
"It's a 1 GB RAM and mobile internet connectivity card and............"

Diary of Help Desk Executive

2006-03-22T16:51:00.000-08:00

I know its a bit lengthy but its funny enough to read it. Also be advised this joke can be enjoyed by only technical people. So if you are not get out of here!

Monday

8:05am
User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let the people vote and drive, too?

8:12am
Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, Well, it works for me. Let them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffeemaker from the UPS and plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again. One more happy customer...

8:14am
User from 8:05 call said they received error message Error accessing Drive 0. Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to microsupport.

11:00am
Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone back in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town this weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial closet down in basement. What is she thinking? The Myst and Doom nationals are this weekend!

11:34am
Another user calls (do they ever learn?). Says they want ACL changed on HR performance review database so that nobody but HR can access database. Tell them no problem. Hang up. Change ACL. Add @MailSend so performance reviews are sent to */US.

12:00pm
Lunch

3:30pm
Return from lunch.

3:55pm
Wake up from nap. Bad dream makes me cranky. Bounce servers for no reason. Return to napping.

4:23pm
Yet another user calls. Wants to know how to change fonts on form. Ask them what chip set they're using. Tell them to call back when they find out.

4:55pm
Decide to run "Create Save/Replication Conflicts" macro so next shift has something to do.

Tuesday

8:30am
Finish reading support log from last night. Sounded busy. Terrible time with Save/Replication conflicts.

9:00am
Support manager arrives. Wants to discuss my attitude. Click on PhoneNotes SmartIcon. Love to, but kinda busy. Put something in the calendar database! I yell as I grab for the support lines, which have (mysteriously) lit up. Walks away grumbling.

9:35pm
Team leader from R&D needs ID for new employee. Tell them they need form J-19R=9C9\\DARR\K1. Say they never heard of such a form. Tell them it's in the SPECIAL FORMS database. Say they never heard of such a database. Transfer them to janitorial closet in basement.

10:00am
Perky sounding intern from R&D calls and says she needs new ID. Tell her I need employee number, department name, manager name, and marital status. Run @DbLookup against state parole board database, Centers for Disease Control database, and my Oprah Winfrey database. No hits. Tell her ID will be ready tonight. Drawing from the lessons learned in last week's Reengineering for Customer Partnership I offer to personally deliver ID to her apartment.

10:07am
Janitor stops by to say he keeps getting strange calls in basement. Offer to train him on Notes. Begin now. Let him watch console while I grab a smoke.

1:00pm
Return from smoking break. Janitor says phones kept ringing, so he transferred them to cafeteria lady. I like this guy.

1:05pm
Big commotion! Support manager falls in hole left where I pulled floor tiles outside his office door. Stress to him importance of not running in computer room, even if I do yell Omigod -- Fire!

1:15pm
Development Standards Committee calls and complains about umlauts in form names. Apologizing for the inconvenience, I tell them I will fix it. Hang up and run global search/replace using gaks.

1:20pm
Mary Hairnet from cafeteria calls. Says she keeps getting calls for Notice Loads or NoLoad Goats, she's not sure, couldn't hear over industrial-grade blender. Tell her it was probably Lettuce Nodes. Maybe the food distributor with a new product? She thinks about it and hangs up.

2:00pm
Legal secretary calls and says she lost password. Ask her to check in her purse, floor of car, and on bathroom counter. Tell her it probably fell out of back of machine. Suggest she put duct tape over all the airvents she can find on the PC. Grudgingly offer to create new ID for her while she does that.

2:49pm
Janitor comes back. Wants more lessons. I take off rest of day.

Wednesday

8:30am
Irate user calls to say chipset has nothing to do with fonts on form. Tell them of course, they should have been checking Bitset, not chipset. Sheepish user apologizes and hangs up.

9:10am
Support manager, with foot in cast, returns to office. Schedules 10:00am meeting with me. User calls and wants to talk to support manager about terrible help at support desk. Tell them manager about to go into meeting. Sometimes life hands you material...

10:00am
Call Louie in janitorial services to cover for me. Go to support manager's office. He says he can't dismiss me but can suggest several lateral career moves. Most involve farm implements in third-world countries with moderate to heavy political turmoil. By and by, I ask if he's aware of new bug which takes full-text indexed random e-mail databases and puts all references to furry handcuffs and Bambi Boomer in Marketing on the corporate Web page. Meeting is adjourned as he reaches for keyboard, Web browser, and Tums.

10:30am
Tell Louie he's doing great job. Offer to show him mainframe corporate PBX system sometime.

11:00am
Lunch.

4:55pm
Return from lunch.

5:00pm
Shift change; Going home.

Thursday

8:00am
New guy (Marvin) started today. "Nice plaids" I offer. Show him Server room, wiring closet, and technical library. Set him up with IBM PC-XT. Tell him to quit whining, Notes runs the same in both monochrome and color.

8:45am
New guy's PC finishes booting up. Tell him I'll create new ID for him. Set minimum password length to 64. Go grab smoke.

9:30am
Introduce Louie the custodian to Marvin. Nice plaids Louie comments. Is this guy great or what?!

11:00am
Beat Louie in dominos game. Louie leaves. Fish spare dominos out of sleeves (Always have backups). User calls, says Accounting server is down. Untie Ethernet cable from radio antenna (better reception) and plug back into hub. Tell user to try again. Another happy customer!

11:55am
Brief Marvin on Corporate Policy 98.022.01: Whereas all new employees beginning on days ending in 'Y' shall enjoy all proper aspects with said corporation, said employee is obligated to provide substance and relief to senior technical analyst on shift. Marvin doubts. I point to Corporate Policy database (a fine piece of work, if I say so myself!). Remember, that's DOUBLE pepperoni and NO peppers! I yell to Marvin as he steps over open floor tile to get to exit door.

1:00pm
Oooooh! Pizza makes me so sleepy...

4:30pm
Wake from refreshing nap. Catch Marvin scanning want ads.

5:00pm
Shift change. Flick HR's server off and on several times (just testing the On/Off button...). See ya tomorrow.

Friday

8:00am
Night shift still trying to replace power supply in HR server. Told them it worked fine before I left.

9:00am
Marvin still not here. Decide I might start answering these calls myself. Unforward phones from Mailroom.

9:02am
Yep. A user call. Users in Des Moines can't replicate. Me and the Oiuji board determine it's sunspots. Tell them to call telecommunications.

9:30am
Good God, another user! They're like ants. Says he's in San Diego and can't replicate with Des Moines. Tell him it's sunspots, but with a two-hour difference. Suggest he reset the time on the server back two hours.

10:17am
Pensacola calls. Says they can't route mail to San Diego. Tell them to set server ahead three hours.

11:00am
E-mail from corporate says for everybody to quit resetting the time on their servers. I change the date stamp and forward it to Milwaukee.

11:20am
Finish @CoffeeMake macro. Put phone back on hook.

11:23am
Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is.

11:25am
Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. So hard to get good help... I respond. Support manager says he has appointment with orthopedic doctor this afternoon, and asks if I mind sitting in on the weekly department head meeting for him. No problem!

11:30am
Call Louie and tell him opportunity knocks and he's invited to a meeting this afternoon. Yeah, sure. You can bring your snuff I tell him.

12:00am
Lunch.

1:00pm
Start full backups on UNIX server. Route them to device NULL to make them fast.

1:03pm
Full weekly backups done. Man, I love modern technology!

2:30pm
Look in support manager's contact management database. Cancel 2:45pm appointment for him. He really should be at home resting, you know.

2:39pm
New user calls. Says want to learn how to create a connection document. Tell them to run connection document utility CTRL-ALT- DEL. Says PC rebooted. Tell them to call microsupport.

2:50pm
Support manager calls to say mixup at doctor's office means appointment cancelled. Says he's just going to go on home. Ask him if he's seen corporate Web page lately.

3:00pm
Another (novice) user calls. Says periodic macro not working. Suggest they place @DeleteDocument at end of formula. Promise to send them document addendum which says so.

4:00pm
Finish changing foreground color in all documents to white. Also set point size to 2 in help databases.

4:30pm
User calls to say they can't see anything in documents. Tell them to go to view, do a Edit -- Select All, hit delete key, and then refresh. Promise to send them document addendum which says so.

4:45pm
Another user calls. Says they can't read help documents. Tell them I'll fix it. Hang up. Change font to Wingdings.

4:58pm
Plug coffee maker into Ethernet hub to see what happens. Not (too) much.

5:00pm
Night shift shows up. Tell that the hub is acting funny and to have a good weekend. Cheers
hahahahaha....

Are You Bored?

2006-03-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

Are you bored? Do you have access to internet. What the heck I am asking. Offcourse you have otherwise how you will be reading this article. The Internet is loaded with information on practically every subject imaginable, but there are also hundreds of sites that are fascinating or just plain fun. Checkout some of these. Try all these on your own risk.

http://www.play4prizes.com/Play games and win fabulous prizes at Play4Prizes! Games include word ladder, tic-tac-trivia, flip flop fun, and word search.
http://www.dreamscape.com/frankvad/home.html You'll never be able to view all of the sites at Virtual Sites Home Page. You'll find reference sites, free stuff, web cameras that offer over 400 live images from around the world, over 300 search engines, and even a collection of sites offering multimedia tours.
http://informant.dartmouth.edu/ Let The Informant search the Web and notify you when new sites are added or updated for your interest groups.
http://www.merc.com/ Mercury Mail is an e-mail service that delivers customized news and information directly to your computer, free of charge. Sign up for the specific information you want to know, such as stocks, news, weather, sports, entertainment, and even calendar reminders.
http://www.bingozone.com/ Play live bingo at The Bingo Zone and win cash prizes! There's a winner every thirty minutes.
http://www.neta.com/~dodson/maze.html At Don's Incredible Maze Server, you'll find a different maze every time you go to this site. Print the mazes and solve them using a pencil and paper.
http://members.tripod.com/~MargaretC/cards.html Internet Card Central is "the original and best place to find links to WWW sites from which you can send virtual postcards and greeting cards over the Internet."
http://www.brain.com/ At The BrainTainment Center, take a free IQ test that evaluates creativity, common sense, and booksmarts IQ as well. Try out ThinkFast, an interactive game that turns on more of your brain every time you play. Discover fascinating facts about your brain at this site.
http://www.indo.com/distance/ At the How Far Is It? site, plug in two cites from around the world and find out the distance between them.
http://www.infospace.com/ Find telephone numbers of residences and businesses from around the world at InfoSpace. The site also includes the "largest and most accurate e-mail directory on the Net", as well as Net phone numbers and category-based directories of businesses, city, state, and federal government.
http://www.neoptx.com/ Have your eyes tested online and learn tips on caring for your eyes at the Neoptx Eye Site.
http://www.hotfiles.com/demo.html Try out your computer software before ever buying it at the ZD Net Software Library. This site has links to all of the top-rated commercial demos as well as free software.
http://www.homefair.com/homefair/cmr/salcalc.html The Salary Calculator allows you to determine the salary you would need to make in a new city, based on cost-of-living differences.
http://www.hy.com/ Handwriting can reveal many things about the people in your life. Your own handwriting may hold important keys to understanding more about yourself. At the Handwriting and You site, learn how the art of handwriting analysis can help illuminate the mysteries of human nature.
http://www.jagat.com/joel/socks.html A totally strange and crazy site is The Bureau of Missing Socks. This site deals with the phenomena of tossing two socks in the dryer and only one coming out.

What should be the color of your eyes?

2006-03-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

Your Eyes Should Be Blue

Your eyes reflect: Innocence and sweetness

What's hidden behind your eyes: A calculating mind

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Take the test and answer all the questiosn correctly. This is just for some fun. Dont take it so serious. This is not the color of my eye. By eyes are black. Enjoy!

What if Lalu Yadav Becomes PM of India

2006-03-20T15:37:00.000-08:00

Just think for a moment what will happen if Lalu Prasad Yadav, becomes the Prime Minister of India? Don't get depression, just think the possibilities. Here are some of possibilities which I thought!

Bhojpuri will be declared as National Language. The people who cannot speak Bhojpuri they need to speak there language (Hindi, Telugu, Tamil, gujarati, marathi etc) would speak in Bhojpuri accent.
There will be 50% reservation for Yadavs 50% for Muslims and rest for other castes, in all government services.

A hen will eat 40 KG of food every day. If you are not aware of this fact then checkout the Fodder Scam. As per this scam it was shown in the records that a hen will eat around 40Kg in a Day!
AC will be installed on all the passenger trains originating from Bihar are going via Bihar. AC will be installed on roof, because that's the place where people travel most often.

Let me knwo what you think!

Some Images for your Desktop

2006-03-20T14:07:00.000-08:00

I love to collect beautiful images for my desktop. I would like to change the desktop every week. Here are some images recentlyI downloaded from internet. Are not these cool?

Can you pass 8th grade math?

2006-03-03T13:05:00.000-08:00

Can you pass 8th grade math? I just passed.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 8/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Right Person In Right Chair

2006-02-03T17:46:00.000-08:00

Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment.

Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:

If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
If they are sitting idle PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they are clinging onto the bricks PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved PUT THEM IN SALES.
If they have already left for the day PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
If they are staring out of the window PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT.
AND last but not least..........
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT!

Marriage Bashing

2006-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!
-Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
-Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-Sam Kinison

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
-Anonymous

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
-H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a three-ring circus:
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
Suffering
-Anonymous

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why?
-Anonymous

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-Anonymous

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
-Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
-Anonymous

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
-A Bankrupt

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
-Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
-Anonymous

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in!
-Anonymous

Application Form for Indian Politicians

2005-11-11T14:25:00.000-08:00

The following form need to be filled when a candidate need to cotest for the election.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Name of Candidate : _______________________

2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________

3. Political Party : _______________________
(List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)

4. Current Occupation: [ ]
A - Politician
B - Kidnapping
C - Goon
D - Scams
E - All of above

5. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati

6. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian

7. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
E - All of above

8. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)

9. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15 +years

10. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)

11. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ] (Do not confuse with question 9)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+ years

12. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.

13. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow... (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

14. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No

15. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]

Thumb Impression of candidate (Not that of the person who filled the form)
[ _________]

Few reasons why you should not mess up with Kids

2005-11-11T14:08:00.000-08:00

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
*********************
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
********************
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
********************
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Now I know, how come aLL of grandma's hairs are white."
********************
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'& A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "
********************
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
********************
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
*********************

Songs for professionals

2005-09-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

When in college:
Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din.....

When giving interview to an organisation:
Tu hi re.. Too hi ree. tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

Waiting for interview result:
Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki....aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki...

Just joined:
Too cheez bhadi hai mast mast.....

After some time:
Ye kahaan aagaye hum??

After some more time:
Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, mere jindagi kya ek kati Pathanghai (booohoooo)

Floating the resume:
kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitti...

Finally when you don't get a better offer any longer:
Jeena yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahaan...!!

Funny Trivias: Time to Laugh

2005-09-07T13:02:00.000-07:00

Question: How do u CUT roads?
Answer: By LAUGHING, because "Haste Haste Cut jaye Raste"

Question:Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes A well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Answer: Because Luv (love) is blind!
Question: Now , Kush also jumps inside. Why?
Answer: Because Luv ke liye saala kush bhi karega!!!!

Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai? socho ? ....... nahi pata..?
Answer: D'Cold......Chan ki saans - D'cold
Question: Chalo ab batao Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? This is quite simple.. .....
Answer: D'Cold again.......Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi

Question: A beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer. Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ?
Answer: : So, Which Platform are you Working on ?

Question: What will u call a person who is leaving India?
Answer : Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
Question: What will u call a person who leaves India, but doesn't travel much??
Answer: Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited).

Question: RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ?
Answer: TAILOR
Question: SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
Answer: Sita MEMORY hai

Once upon a time in an elephant school some loafer elephants were sitting on a wall. A sexy female elephant passes by. what do the loafer elephants say about her? 36000 - 24000 - 36000 !!!

Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha ?
Answer: Adidas.

Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ?? why ??
Answer: Tendulkar is an opener

Question - What is similarity between "Satynarayan Pooja" and "Indian Cricket Team"
Answer: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai ( my personal fav. takes me back to mid 90's, with the duo of Prasad & Srinath reckoning)

Question: Who is Joe?
Answer: "Kambakth ishq" - Because "Kambakth ishq hai Joe!"

Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Answer: Dil Chhata Hai.......

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

2005-09-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a beautiful poem sent to me by my wife.

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you,

That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we're one
Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Kerala : Gods Own Country

2005-08-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

Kerala is the beautiful girl on earth, South west part of India, between Western Ghats of Hills and the Arabian Sea with an area of approximate 39,000 sq.km. It is blessed with endless beaches, lush green forests, mountains, waterfalls, fertile land, banana, pineapple, papaya, mango, jackfruit grows in abundance in Kerala and palm fringed lakes and backwaters.

The backwaters of Kerala meandering inland lakes networked with canals stretch to over 1900 km. Boat trips across these tranquil stretches are an experience unique to Kerala. One of the most memorable experience for the tourist visiting Kerala is the opportunity to enjoy the backwaters of Kerala on a house boat (Kettuvallam).

A visit to Kerala will recharge your body and soul. You can relax your mind with Kerala's natural beauty.

Here are some of the beautiful photos of this "gods own country".

Some Images: Which Will Make You Say WOW!!

2005-08-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

"A Picture is worth thousand words". These images are breath taking. Every photo is conveying a message here. I wish I would have been in such a place to enjoy the nature.

Google Earth: Move The Earth As You Like

2005-08-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

I believe that yahoo is one of the best portal. You can get any information you want from www.yahoo.com. Quality of the pages is also quite comparable. But since some time I started using some of google's product (earlier I was using google search engine only). Like www.blogger.com, for posting my blogs. (equivalent to yahoo 360, still beta, yuck..), Picassa, to organize my photos. Man! the products by google are awesome.

Ggogle has a little to offer, but what they have is incredible. And recently I used Google Earth, this is an excellent product. In this you can view on earth as you are looking from satellite. I could even spot my apartment in Los Angeles. It has some of the famous places bookmarked, like, Grand Canyon, Chicago River, Manhattan Island, Eiffel Tower, Red Square Masco, Sant Peter's Basilica Vatican City. This product is really cool. You can download it from here

But one things I would like to bring to your attention is that, the places in USA or having more clarity than any other part of the world. Here are some of snapshot taken by me from Google Earth.

Rastrapati Bhavan: New Delhi, India

Eiffel Tower: Paris

Forbidden City: China

Grand Canyon: USA

So download and see the world the way you want!

True Friends: A Thought

2005-08-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

I bet we all have friends, I classify my friends in two category good, and very good.

How do you classify?

True Friends always pop up to say Hello...

True Friends don't Care if you're a lil' different...

True Friends will drive you anywhere!...

True Friends never fight like cats and dogs...

True Friends let everyone come along...

True Friends don't laugh at you when you get new glasses...

True Friends help you up when you're down...

and True Friends never let you do something u know you will regret when you wake up the next morning!

ENJOY AND BUH BYE!!!

Lakshdweep: A Perfect Island for Your Next Summer Vacation

2005-08-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Lakshadweep is an archipelago consisting of 12 atolls, 3 reefs and 5 submerged banks. There are 10 inhabited islands and 17 uninhabited islands with a total geographical area of 32 sq. Kms., 220 to 440 Kms. away from the coastal city of Kochi in Kerala, in the emerald Arabian sea. The Lakshadweep islands are a geographical extension of the Maldives island chain. Referred to by many as the 'ultimate island paradise', each island floats serenely in a sea whose water range from palest aquamarine and turquoise to deepest sapphire and lapis lazuli.

Early history of Lakshadweep is unwritten. What now passes for history is based on various legends. Local traditions attribute the first settlement on these islands to the period of Cheraman Perumal, the last king of Kerala. It is believed that after his conversion to Islam, at the behest of some Arab merchants, he slipped out of his capital Cranganore, the present day Kodungallor - an old harbour town Kochi, for Mecca. When his disappearance was discovered, search parties went after him in sailing boats and left for the shores of Mecca, in search of the king from different places. It is believed that one of these sailing boats of Raja of Cannanore was struck by a fierce storm and they were shipwrecked on the island now known as Bangaram. From there they went to the nearby island of Agatti. Finally the weather improved and they returned to the mainland sighting other islands on their way. It is said that after their return another party of sailors and soldiers discovered the island of Amini and started living there. It is believed that the people sent there were Hindus. Even now unmistakable Hindu Social stratification exists in these islands despite Islam. Legends say that small settlements started in the Islands of Amini, Kavaratti, Andrott and Kalpeni first and later people from these islands moved to the other islands of Agatti, Kiltan, Chetlat and Kadmat. This legend of Cheraman Perumal is not, however, substantiated.

Here are some of the images of the beautiful island!! Enjoy!!

Rameswaram: A Religious and Tourist Place

2005-08-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

Rameswaram, a well known pilgrim centre, is not only connected with the history of the great epic Ramayana but also remains as a symbol of National Integration. It is one of the most sacred towns of India, it is well known for its temple corridor-the longest in India, the Bathing Ghat, Kothanda Ramar Temple and other nearby islands-abundant with coral reefs and other marine wonders. Following are some of the images I have to post. These images are being collected from internet. So there is great chance that you might have already seen these.

Some Excellent Images: Perfect Place for Weekends

2005-08-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the best images which I liked a lot. The nature is in its best form in almost all the images.

This is a scene from a resort, looks like a perfect palace to be in weekend.

Lot of greenery surrounded by green hills and lake. Is this place heaven?

I have no words for this but, Wow!!!!

I know this place is Switzerland, nothing can be greener than this....

A combination of natural and artificial beauty!

Mumbai : The Financial Capital of India, In Water

2005-08-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

Recently I received so many images from my friends from all over world, regarding flood in Mumbai. So I thought I will put them at one place and can share with you all. Thats why I am creating this page.

The rain has created lot of pain and chaos, but even though whole Mumbai was trying to keep his head up in the water, still you could find lot of Mumbaikars just got their heads down and umbrellas up and kept going, with a remarkable amount of power and good spirit. This is what I like about Mumbai and Mumbaikars. The spirit to fight against all odds. They are capable to cope with any situation. Let it be tightly packed local train, or a 8 X 8 room (kholi) for whole family or underworld. They survive and introduced themselves as I am from "Bombay". The world "Bombay" has lot of weight.

The flood has come and gone, damage done is in millions. But the damage which is going to happen in coming days in the form of rise in price, pollution, decease and the most important thing transportation, is not going to be less. Lets hope administration take necessary care to make the situation better, and does not leaves his people to suffer

Here are some of the photos I would like to share. Remember I have collected these photos from Internet, so may be most of them you might have already seen.

Here is Some Real Good Stuff. Check This Out!!!

2005-07-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

Because Andhra Pradesh govt. made helmets compulsory so here is mine. This is so Khool!!! Send me an email at kittu__vankatesh_subramaiya_chiramppally@khoolhelmet.com, to get your's.

The best Horror Movie of year 2005. This movie was well appreciated at Hollywood, bollywood, Tollywood and at Lollywood.

Have problem with your dog? Here is new trainer in your city. He is gona train your dog. Here is sample of his training, he gave last week.

I don't know why people keep complaining about baby sitting. Its really very simple. Don't believe me. See for your self.

I am leaving this image for you to give appropriate title. Lets see your creativity!

Pregnant Ladies: Check This Out...

2005-07-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

Big Question

Counting!

But I don't know if it is a cell phone or Landline?

You don't need to take baby to temple. He/she has already prayed enough!

Now I understand the reason why few ladies are crossing the due date!

2005-07-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this, that it really happend. But it happened. This is the technology.

Attention All Drivers! Get your license immediately, here is the Application Form

2005-07-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

DRIBHING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.

For instruksons, see bottom applikason :
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed
(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. How many your's : ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (dont leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish- ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)

13..Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not
copy thumb impression also. Please probhiide your own thumb
impression.)

PLEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS .
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use
your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb
on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

BHI ARE BHERY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS !!!!!!!!

Some Funny Pics

2005-07-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

When I told you, you dint believe me. So here is the proof...

I am a vegitarian but, if you bother me then....

Secret of downfall of the Enron

As titled: Modes Sunbathers

Addicted to Intetrnet?

Got a suggestion? or a complain about this webpage, please drop your comments here!

Traffic Rules: Its never been easy to follow the traffic rules.

2005-07-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

Most often we are being questioned by our boss (Project Manager at office and wife at home) that why we were so late. Probably they don't know enough about the traffic Signals. Just show them these. Hope it should help them to understand that these are the additional complication we go through while driving (apart from, changing CD, looking at latest model of BMW going in adjacent lane, and trying to peep in next lane car, to see if there is any beauty).

Are you sure you wana go to Wilburn? ok ok.. Now I am sure you Wil(l)Burn your ....

Should I take Left or Should I take Right?

Nothing is Right

Stop! Think! Think! Think! Now proceed if still not being hit by a truck.

Purab na Jaiye, Pachhim Na Jaiye, Utttar Na Jaiye, Dakshin Na Jaiye.... Abey to samne se hat na, Doosrno ko to jane de...

This one is left for you to give an appropriate title.

Feed well to your baby

2005-07-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

You got to feed your baby enough else, he will manage his own food. Just see for yourself.

Lem'e start with some appetizers

Then some bheja fry

I think this guy likes Hot Dog?

And here is a vegetrian hungry guy.

Super Hit Hindi Movies : Comming Soon

2005-07-20T14:45:00.000-07:00

Recently while browsing the net I found some funny stuff. Have a look. Some of them are really cool.

Terminator - Rise of Magzine

Hum Saath Saath Hain

Mummy Returns, The

Laloo Badshah

Home Alone

Gladiator of Pakistan

Ajnabee