Tips for traveling in Mumbai Local Trains

It came to me as an forwarded email. I found it really funny. Hope you like it.

• Never iron your shirt if you intend to travel
  during peak hours. The packed train shall do the needful.

• Thou shall buy a first class pass only if your company is paying for it.
  Else thou should be really rich with an annual income of atleast Rs.10 lakhs
  travelling by first class. Otherwise is a public crime.
  
• Before getting off at a station always make sure to ask the person ahead of
  you, "Uterega Kya?" This way you shall not feel left out.
  
• If you happen to be one of those few gazillion, who travel by train during
  peak hours, on a regular basis, do not spend money on gymnasiums or health
  instructors. You will realize how effortlessly and in an innovative manner, one can practice yoga while travelling.
  
• If you have already started practising this innovative yoga, see to it that
  it remains within the confinements of the train compartment. Try these steps anywhere else and you'll soon get yourself locked up in a mental asylum.
  
• Always push the person standing ahead of you. It is amusing when the person
  ahead of you does not use a single word against you.
  
• In case you happen to sweat or if your nose starts twitching, rub the desired
  body part on the clothes of the person standing closest to you. Your hands are gonna be of no use to you at that time.
  
• Make sure you are the tallest among those standing around you. It affects you
  less when others have to bear the smell of your armpits.
  
• Avoid travelling in slippers or sandals. It is an accepted fact that someone
  always climbs on to your foot.