Some cool Jokes!

Take them as a joke, be sportive!

A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to test her sons-in-law. She invites the first one for a stroll by the lake shore, purposely falls in and pretends to be drowning. Without any hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in and saves her.

The next morning, he finds a brand new Toyota car in his driveway
with this message on the windshield…"Thank you!" Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law. He jumps in the water and saves her also. She offers him a new Honda car with the same message on the windshield…

Thank you!
Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, she does the same thing again with the third son-in-law. While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks: "Finaly! It's about time that this old witch dies!

The next morning, he receives a brand new Ferrari car with this message…

THANK YOU!
Your father-in-law.

My Village and My Home in WikiMapia.org

Today I found my village and my home in Wikimapia. This is the link.

मैं ये सोचकर उसके दर से उठा था

Today I was listening one of the song from film Haqeekat. This is one of the briliant song by Rafi, and alos my all time favourite.

मैं ये सोचकर उसके दर से उठा था,
के वो रोक लेगी मना लेगी मुझको ।

हवाओं में लहराता आता था दामन,
के दामन पकड़कर बिठा लेगी मुझको ।

कदम ऐसे अंदाज़ से उठ रहे थे,
की आवाज़ देकर बुला लेगी मुझको ।

मगर उसने रोका
न उसने मनाया,
न दामन ही पकड़ा
न मुझको बिठाया,
न आवाज़ ही दी,
न वापस बुलाया

मैं आहिस्ता आहिस्ता बढ़ता ही आया
यहाँ तक के उससे जुदा हो गया मैं ...
जुदा हो गया मैं ...
जुदा हो गया मैं ...

Something Funny

Q:- If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
A:- The days after marriage.
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Q:- During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse?
A:- He is given his last chance to run away.
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A guy to his GF :
I wrote your name on the sands.............it got washed away,
I wrote your name in air..........................it got blown away,
So i wrote your name in my heart.............i got a HEART ATTACK
---------------------------
LOVE is like a CIGAR,
It starts with a fire.....
continues with smoke.....
and ends in ashes.....
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
---------------------------
True love is like a pillow
You can hug when you are in trouble
You can cry on when you are in pain
You can embrace when you are happy
So when u need true love spend Rs.50/- Buy a pillow
---------------------------
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
It functions 24hrs 365 days.....
It functions right from the time you are born....
until you fall in love
---------------------------
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
Now you do the math!
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History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : Sir, I am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir.
Teacher : You failure ! At ur age Bill Gates stood first in the class.
Student : Mind you, Sir, but @ your age Hitler commited suicide.
---------------------------

Should India take the same step as Israel?

The question is not "Should" Indian follow the path of Israel but the question "Can" India take the path of Israel. In my view India cannot take the steps which Israel is taking and the reason is well known to us. None of the Israels enemey (Syria, Lebnon - Hezboolah, Iran etc) are as tactively powerful as Israel. Israel can crush all its nebhour in any given day, because they have blanket support from USA. On the other hand we have a nuclear powered neighbor who supports the terrorism.

And if India takes the force as action it will be disastrous in long run. Because we cannot just attack on them and get away with that. There will be retaliation from Pakistan in the form of force and that will become a national agenda in Pakistan.

We need inteligence power and thats the last option for country like India. We have seen the success of RAW in the past years, creation of Bangladesh, Operation Bluestar are some of them . But there were huge budget cuts for RAW in recent years.

We need to contain the terrorism and we need to isolate them. And the best thing is we should help Pakistani govenment to control the religious extremist in their own country.

Diplomacy and Covert Action (here we can use the force) are the two best solution avaialble. If you think we havenot got anything from that then I tell you if we have opted for the force we would have been in the for worst condition we are today.

Mumbai Blast: My Experience

Today when I just switched on my radio in car, the breaking news was Blast in Mumbai. Normally any blast in India does not makes it through "Breaking News" in US media, until unless its huge. So I knew its going to be worst. As I have many of my relative (close to 15 relatives) some of them being very close. I was so scared when I read the detailed news on various website that there are close to 7 or 8 blast during the peak hour, on western lines. Now this is the line where 4-5 of my relative travel regularly. They commute to office and back to home.

As the telephone and cell phone lines were jammed i tried calling for a long-time but no luck. The fear inside me was growing. After a long time I was able to get one of my relative's cell phone, it was ringing, but no response , a horrible scene just struck in my mind. The scene and my imagination got worsen every time I called and dint received response from him. A scene where limbs and scattered all over the place. The cell phone is ringing somewhere bellow the debris on the track. Did that happened? A chill in my spine went through. My god ! What should I do.

I tried all my relatives in Mumbai, finally I got one of them and talk to them and they told that most of the people they know are fine nothing to worry they are safe at home. I took a sigh of relief. But I know there are some people calling there loved one and there cell phone is stuck below the debris and the area is piled up with parts from their body. Those hands are never going to receive any call that ear is never going to hear anything. They are gone, and they are never going to return home.

May God give power and courage to them, who have suffered the loss.

Universal Rules for Men

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at rugby, and your biltong is getting wet, then, for the eating period only, it is permissible.

2. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". e. When she is using her teeth.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However you can Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just greedy.

18. If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

20. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

22. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, orange or sky blue.

23. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Play station II. End of story.

24. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.